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How to Be Grateful to People Who Hurt Us

December 21, 2017

Be Grateful to People Who Hurt You

Being grateful to people who helped you, took care of you, and supported you is important. But there’s another type of person we should be thankful to: the ones who hurt us.

As you get to know more about me, you’ll learn that I’m not much of a hopeless romantic or even a romantic in general. There’s time for that in life but before any of that, I believe that everyone must grow to become independently strong. So, no…This won’t be much about hurting because of some romantic relationship but in just any typical relationship: between friends, teachers, people in general, etc. Because the hurting that happens in general is far more relatable to many more people.

I have many episodes that involve someone hurting me verbally and physically that really impacted me. We’ll start with that.

Once Upon A Time…

Grateful for eighth-grade trip
Happy, eighth-grader Conchita.

Happy, eighth-grader Conchita was skipping next to her two, tall friends in the airport to catch up to them. This was a school trip to Abu Dhabi for Festival of Choirs. I felt a tug on the handle of my bag and suddenly I was being dragged backwards. Dragged by the handle of my backpack. Dragged. I looked behind me. It was one of the teachers escorting the trip.

“Be quiet. This is an airport,” she said. Her hand still gripped my backpack. My friends were looking back with confused faces.

Call me dramatic to be so hurt by this but as you can see, it did hurt me. Even before this happened, this teacher never seemed to like me, there was always indirect fighting between us. For no reason. But you know what? I say thank you to that teacher. She made me realize that there will be teachers-people who doesn’t like you or shows that just because.

It’s not like I ever disrespected her once…I never stayed in an art class for too long and it’s been like 4 years without art. To this day, I question why she had to drag me like I was some kind of animal? She could’ve tapped my shoulder or called out my name. How I reacted that time? I smiled and nodded.

Something I also learned from this is that kindness is the best revenge. Whenever I saw her in the hallways, I smiled and greeted her if our eyes met. To those people who hurt you, don’t show them your feelings- don’t let them know that what they did affected you. Show them you are strong.

Confidence is Strength

Most people see me as this happy, cheerful girl- which I am- at least I hope I am. Some people start to underestimate me. Oh someone like her? She won’t be able to stand up for herself, she’s too kind. They have it wrong.

I can say no, I can disagree, and yes I do have my own opinions that I would never hesitate to voice out when I have to. Like many people, I started out as the quiet girl who never spoke in class and in elementary school, all my reports read, “It would be great if Conchita would speak more and raise her hand in class.” It seemed as if I couldn’t contribute anything to a group project or a discussion. As time passed though, I found confidence in myself.

I didn’t want to be treated easily anymore, I had to show who I was.

You can be confident in any way that makes you feel empowered. Quiet and confident is possible. Loud and confident is possible. Anything in between with confidence is possible. Do you see the path here? You can be and do anything but add it all with confidence. I believe that is what shows everyone that you are strong.

Pick Yourself Back Up

Going back to the topic of being grateful to people who hurt you, be grateful because they shape who you are. They may have broken you but you can use that to fix yourself back up into a stronger you. So, pick those broken pieces up and shape a you that is more unbreakable.

Reflect on what exactly hurt you or made you break into pieces and you may realize things that you can do to improve yourself so that if the same thing happens, you’re ready to accept the outcomes.

When someone hurts us, the most important thing about that is how we- ourselves- cope with the pain. We can either bring ourselves down or lift ourselves up. It is our choice. We have to be grateful for these people in our lives that come to hurt us because they give us the opportunity to improve ourselves, to make ourselves stronger.

Another thing is to forgive.

Forgive and then thank the person. They showed us that life can be tough. That life isn’t always only filled with nice people. Forgive not because you did something wrong but because forgiveness shows your strength as a person. It shows that you’re able to fight the feelings of hatred and turn it into a feeling of peace within yourself.

Here’s an example:

Hello, Teacher,

I am sorry if I have done anything wrong to you that made you treat me that way in the past but I forgive you. Because maybe you were just having bad days and that’s okay. You also probably don’t know that what you did hurt my feelings. That’s my fault for not confronting you. I was too scared back then and just didn’t want to get into another argument or problem with you which could’ve caused both of us to be hurt. For many reasons, I also would like to say thank you. Just because thank you.

Now, this is not me encouraging anyone to be hurt by people. But if we do encounter these types of situations, we must accept it because maybe it happened for a reason. It was an opportunity given to us to reflect on ourselves, to see in which aspects of life can we improve in.

Whether the person realizes what they did wrong or not, that is their problem. You’ve done your share and sacrificed your pride for peace. In the end, you are the winner. The empowered one.

Have you ever encountered someone who hurt you that taught you something about yourself or life?


  • Ipsita Paul

    December 23, 2017 at 6:09 pm

    I completely agree with it. People who hurt us teach the most important lessons. We should be grateful to them.

  • Rea

    December 23, 2017 at 7:34 pm

    I absolutely agree with this idea. It will take a while to accept the pain but it is a great stepping stone and learning as we go on with our lives. This should be read by many as a lot of people have hate in this world in this generation.

  • Mommy Jhy

    December 23, 2017 at 10:51 pm

    I agree! Someone recently hurt my feelings by telling me that other people’s finances is not my business. I am into Financial Literacy advocacy, I coach people about proper money management. Because of that person, I have decided to start my own blog and I write about raising a family, proper finance management and travel.

  • Jane

    December 24, 2017 at 12:27 am

    Nice article! I also think forgiveness is the key! Everything teach us to being grateful people even the paing 🙂

  • Alice

    January 3, 2018 at 8:02 pm

    I wish I could relate with this post, but I feel like there’s a line where you can forgive someone’s actions and a line where you cannot. While there are some people in my past I can say I’ve grown from, there are some events that I definitely could have been so much happier without experiencing, so I don’t think I can ever be grateful for that. Still, your positive outlook is inspiring <3

    1. helloconchita

      January 3, 2018 at 8:10 pm

      Yes there are many different exceptions to this, this was just my experience. I still have a lot to learn and go through (I’m still very young I guess haha). I’m really happy to hear your opinions about this! Everyone is hurt by different people and based on what that person did, I agree there is a line to being grateful.

      Thank you! 💕

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