Don’t Ever Discredit Yourself
It’s so easy to discredit our efforts when things in life don’t go right. When things get hard, when everything seems like it has fallen, we like to blame others or things because of our failures. But that’s only because we’re trying to avoid admitting that maybe, just maybe, that it was because of our own faults or flaws.
We start blaming ourselves, comparing ourselves, questioning ourselves, and regretting.
We Have Done.
To end up in this pit of failure.
And that’s what the mistake is.
Take this for an example.
Since tenth-grade, I have struggled with physics. And it’s not the normal, “Ugh, this is so hard”, and thengets a B+. It was the first time in years that I have truly struggled in a class. Concepts just don’t stick in my head and calculations still seem so difficult to understand. Whenever the teacher speaks, as much as I would love to understand every word he says, I just can’t.
You may ask, “Why don’t you just ask questions, then?” Well, my lack of understanding in physics is to the point where I don’t even know what I don’t know. I don’t know what part of the equation or concept is unclear to me.
Don’t Blame Others…or Yourself
I admit, I blamed everything. I blamed the teacher (sorry teacher😖), the way he teaches, then I blamed the way I study, how I do my homework, and then it all lead to blaming myself. Why can’t I ever get this right? Why can’t I understand this like my classmates do? I do everything for this class, why is it not in my head yet? I am so dumb.
I’ve cried many times because of this one class. I hated myself and compared myself to my friends who do understand. I have this one friend who just seems so admirable in my eyes. I like to say she’s perfect but if she read this, she would deny by giving me a weird look saying, “Are you crazy?!” She’s always the one I go to for physics. Sometimes I watch her try to explain to me about physics and wonder, “How does she do that? I wish I knew physics like she does. I am so dumb.”
You’ve worked hard
The point of the tangent is…yes, reflecting on what you might be lacking of is a good thing. It’s always good to do that. But where it starts to get all wrong is when we start to blame ourselves for who we are. From there, we start saying things like, “I didn’t do my best. I didn’t work hard enough.”
But ding ding! Guess what? As long as you’ve spent time trying or even had sleepless nights working, and really did care about whatever your goal was, good job.
You’ve worked hard.
Don’t discredit your work because of your result.
Sometimes in life, things are just meant to be.
Sure, I am not doing well in physics but that is not because I haven’t worked hard enough. Because I did. And it’s not because I’m “dumb” but, maybe just maybe, me and physics? We can’t be buddies. And with this (better) conclusion, I learn that I need more help, more assistance, more time for physics.
If we are able to find this better conclusion within us after a failure, we will find and be in peace with the failure. Failure is in the past and the past has passed. What has happened, has happened. There is no use in changing it or even letting it drag us down. Don’t let the sadness, anger, heartbreak, or frustration of that failure constantly hammer you. Don’t blame yourself because of your feelings.
Don’t let that frustration turn into frustration for yourself. Don’t get mad at yourself for making yourself sad because of a failure. Instead, use the failure to your advantage. Admit to your flaws or faults. Tell yourself that you have worked hard to be at this point. Don’t blame yourself. Find a solution. Work on the solution.
Act on a solution.
Some of us may want to be really good at something we’ve struggled doing and that takes practice. Lots of it. On the other hand, some of us just want to survive through that something and that’s totally okay. Either way, we need to believe that we can do it, we can reach that goal even if we couldn’t in the past. It is necessary in both scenarios to be in peace with our failure, mistakes, etc. before we can take a step forward in trying to improve ourselves in that area.
Do it with your heart.
If we do things with a heavy heart or aren’t motivated ourselves, we’ll never improve or achieve that goal to the fullest. I cannot stress enough how important putting our hearts into doing something. Because that’s the most essential part of seeing improvement for everything.
Sounds cheesy, huh? But it really isn’t. It’s the best thing to do when you start your path to improvement or to a goal ahead. If you do things with your heart, it shows that you’re passionate and ready to put all your efforts into something to get the best outcome.
After a failure, you must not give up or think yourself as a loser because if you pick yourself up again, reset your goals and prepare to bring out your best efforts, things will be okay again.
Think of failure as a time for you to realize what you can improve on and maybe change in some particular aspect. Don’t give yourself a hard time about it because everyone has failed, even the most successful people, but you know what they did to be where they are?
They improved themselves and tried again.