I wrote a little memo to myself on November 15, 2018. Here’s what it says.
“Pause. I’m happy right now.
College answers written and being written, standardized tests taken, projects made, and presentations given. It’s been a crazy three months of school. And I’m happy. I’m happy.
I feel like that’s a message I’ve been trying to give out a lot in my recent posts. I think it’s right that it is. Happiness to me is such a precious thing to have. Genuine happiness that is. Like those times when you smile to not just smile…but you smile because you truly let yourself be the happiest person alive at that moment.”
When I read this, I look back on the past and remember how much I have changed my mindset about school. School is stressful and there is always so many things to do, but in the end of the day, it’s how we approach all that work that matters.
Sometimes, you have to let yourself be free. I could go on again about happiness and school, but (PROMO TIME) that was my last post!
Where I Was
I can’t believe time has passed so quickly. I was JUST a 9th Grader and now, first semester of 12th Grade is over. All the tears I’ve cried and all the frustration, that’s the past now. I fought through and here I am.
Here’s a REAL story that happened just this past semester that I hope we can all learn from.
If you’re a long time reader, you probably already that physics is one of my toughest classes. I am intrigued by it, but unlike my peers, physics just doesn’t click with me as fast. I started from regular Physics to AP Physics 1 and now, I’m in 2.
I was taking it fairly okay in the beginning with physics. I studied, took the quizzes, did the labs, etc. But one day, one…school day, everything collapsed. I worried about the worst things that could happen if I stayed in the class. I felt sorry for myself that everyone else knew how to talk about physics with ease. But I couldn’t.
Truthfully, I wanted to give up that time. I couldn’t do it anymore. Drop the class and everything would be alright, right? Something in me didn’t make it easy because I knew, deep inside, I wanted to stay.
The morning of that school day was not good, let me tell you. I was holding back my tears but of course, on that day my AP Calculus teacher was giving out a motivational speech during class. I remember looking at my friend across from me and she mouthed, don’t cry…and there I was crying. I find it funny remembering it now. Thank you, AP Calculus teacher and friend.
Throughout the day, I kept thinking. I fought through AP Physics 1 when I also felt like this last year. I felt like giving up, but I stayed and I was happy with the results so why can’t I do it again? That was what stopped me from completely wanting to drop the class.
The night before, I already had a conversation with my parents about the situation and they supported me with my decision to drop it. Inside though, I really didn’t know if it was the right thing to do.
I knew I could do it and I wanted to do it.
So, I stayed and I’m happy I did. I’m so proud that I let my fear of failure go away to focus on succeeding instead. I finished off my first semester of Physics 2 with a grade I am happy with! I hope that anyone out there feeling like they’re lost in a class will keep pushing through. If you’re determined, you can do it. Really.
It’s the start of second semester of 12th Grade, my last semester of high school ever! It’s exciting, scary, sad, and emotional all in one. Oh and…Happy New Year! It’s 2019. Winter break ended quickly, but I was so happy to be able to spend it with my family and myself.
I feel a little sad because this winter break, I focused a lot on improving my dancing instead of writing lots of blogposts. I wish I could have done both, but that’s pretty hard. This semester, I will try really hard to find some time to post here!
For those going back to school, let’s fight through together until the end! Remember, you are not alone when you struggle. That’s the message of this post. If you are determined or passionate about something but at the same time worried and scared, that’s when you are truly challenging yourself.